Are you blurry or am I old?

Are you blurry or am I getting old? 

My Optometrist corrected me, "We don't call them old people glasses anymore." He got out his pair to console me and added that since we are from the 'same vintage' we now call them 'Computer Glasses'. 

Last week the screen started to make me mad. It took a couple of end of day headaches to help me realize that this wasn't going to just go away on its own. Sometimes we just have to find a new recipe for lemonade when life gives us lame lemons! 

So here are some thoughts on Eye Strain and how to avoid it at your computer... unless you want to look all almost 40 and trendy like that. 

Computer Eye Strain: 10 Steps for Relief 

I can see your fantastic faces and read your loving words so it's worth it to me. Cheers! 

How to end up with awesome kids.

#25. Tell your kids they are great. Jack was only two years old when he was assigned to help mommy sweep the front porch. He managed the broom pretty well so i let him finnish while I cleaned a window. When I turned around and saw him sweep the step and onto the walkway I said, "Jack, you are going the extra mile..what a hard worker!" He smiled so big and to this day goes the extra mile.

#24. Have a bedtime routine. We read a scripture and pray together and then say our family cheer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJDQOxCyxgA I then say last one to bed gets a...and they say kick in the head and go running. Now of course I say kiss on the head but they still run away. If they wont stay in bed, I turn on the hot lava activator that turns the carpet into Hot Lava until morning. (they must have good imaginations cause it totally works)

#23. Offer to pay them 300 dollars if they make it through high-school without kissing anyone. Yes, I have made this deal. I have even shown them how many twenty's that is. Not that all (um I forget how many) of those kisses over the years meant nothing to me, but I want my children to feel like a kiss has value to them. Memories of first kisses are so special. First kisses with every guy in Jr. High...special too but...um...er.....lol.

#22. Don't tell them they have to say sorry, tell them they will feel better inside if they say sorry.

#21. a note on punishment. It is an opportunity to learn a lesson. In fact when my boys are playing with toy guns, I always say are you shooting bears? if they say "nope bad guys" I tell them to shoot them in the foot so they can go to jail and repent ( I may be raising probation officers). Standing in the corner only teaches them you will make their life suck for 5 min. if they get caught being bad. If they need a cool down the corner can be a good place to wait for mom to think of a way to advise you on how you can improve your behavior. Explain how their reaction was wrong, and where they can go to find a solution, I have sent them to a book I like, often scripture, with a pen and paper to write down a better way to act next time. Then they can go tell their little brother what they will do next time he makes fun of having a crush on a vampire.

#20. If you are making the switch to whole wheat bread tell them its chocolate bread. I hope I won't go to hell for saying that ;D

#19. Get up and dance during the credits of movies. If your kids see you enjoying a little self expression thats great for them, but the best part of this is realizing just how inheritable awesome breakdancing moves are.

#18. School, Media, Me, we all tell kids that smoking is a dangerous habit. The first time my child pointed at a person smoking and said "ew mommy look that person is wrecking their body" I was mortified...and then explained... that person probably knows that already, but though picking up a cigarette is easy to do, smoking is hard to quit. Maybe you can say a prayer in your heart that they will be able to stop. But we will not ever point at people or say unkind things.

#17. I wanted my kids to always feel like they could ask me for a snuggle..so I called it "re charging your battery" and even though a 12 year old may not feel like saying mom can you cuddle me, I need it,- he is fine about saying, mom I need to recharge my battery and thats my cue to give him his snuggle till the worlds a better place.

#16. Don't potty train too early. It will make you both really pissy. Kids are ready close to age 3. when they are dry all night, can talk well, and know how to push pause on the DVD player.

#15. Go out on Friday nights. Pick up a pizza and a movie on the way home from work and spend and hour or two hanging out and talking, then let them bring all their blankets down and put in the movie. THis will give you time to get ready without chaos...but the main point is demonstrating that grown ups go on dates and spend time together. Even though sometimes I don't have a date, I still go out for a bit to keep place for dating in a future relationship.

#14. Let them see you pray hard, and work hard. I quote Charles Ingles from little house on the prairie who said, "there is always a job for someone willing to work hard". I more often quote Jesus, who said "Pray in your families...and whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you" .(http://scriptures.lds.org/en/3_ne/18)

#13. Oh no, this toy is in time out. This is my one of my favorite parenting tools for conflict management. If an argument emerges over a tangible item, I walk up, ask for the toy, and then explain;

1.The toy is in time out.

2.You may ask for it in a little while when you are ready to share.

3.Then once you have placed the toy out of reach, walk away/return to what you were doing.

Outcome? The argument ends. The children decidedly both forget about the toy and move on to a different less threatening item worth sharing, or they come back and say they are ready to share. They are ready for the acceptance of responsibility because they are aware of the consequence. The result is a cute little coalition of willing to share todlers.

#12. Hold Interviews at least once a month. I have a binder for each of my kids on my desk. On, Sundays, I call them in one by one to discuss what's new in their lives. I listen. They have journals and bring them in and share with me cool things they have been thinking about. This also gives them the opportunity to share worries, that may have not been resolved in the busy on the go conversations. We review a goal they made last time, write down new skills they have learned, and set a new goal for the next week. This is a tool that I hope will help me know my kids and let them know I am interested in what great people they are becoming.

#11. Tell them the room has to be clean for the television to work properly... ;D

#10. Let them help make big decisions. I knew going back to school would be tough on me and on them. I sat down with them one night and I told them about my new responsibility to not only nurture them, but to provide for them. I explained the opportunity for a degree, that would help me provide well and the move that would be involved. I told them I had prayed and received spiritual confirmation of this decision, but that their opportunity to share their questions, concerns was important to me. I also explained that they could have that same spiritual comfort and witness and that would help us have less wondering and murmuring on the cross country return to the school I had begun my degree at. We had once read a story about a family that was split in a decision about leaving and how it had been frustrating all the way because they were not united and we talked about that.

I will never forget kneeling in a circle with my little family, and praying for them to feel that this choice was good for us. At the end of the prayer each of them had thumbs pointed up in agreement that we would go. In the last two years, as I have completed this insurmountable task...they have been supportive, kind and encouraging... and the best college roommates I have ever had. Parents should be good leaders. I want my children to understand that power in Leadership comes by making good decisions and Unity comes from communicating, resolving concerns, and offering them a place in that good decision.

#9 Don't settle for lame endings to stories. Our story about the three bears, ends with Goldilocks running home, and after crying alone goes and tells her mom what she did. Her mom says, " I know just what we can do to help you feel better. Mom and Goldilocks make some fresh, just right porridge, and daddy gets his tool box (since he is so good at fixing little broken chairs). They walk through the woods,and knock on the door. Papa bears says, "Someone's knocking at my door!" and when he opens it - Goldilocks says, "I'm sorry" and they make things right. And that is our good ending to the story of Goldilocks. Why do we teach if we don't intend for them to learn?

#8. Teach them about their relatives, all of them. Tell them all you know and point out great things they have in common with them. Quote their great sayings, "well, like my grandmother once said, "all you can do is love people" or "do you know there are people out there on this lonely night praying for you?" An important part of this for me, as a single parent, is to notice and recognize a good quality they have in common with their father- by so doing, I hope they will associate with the good in him. (hard but worth it)

#7. The dinner table is not a place for complaint or lecture. It is a place for storytelling, sharing of fun memories, and laughter. A turning point was when I was first single-the thought of taking my kidos to their favorite mexican restaurant, oh would I dare to?-but I wanted to, so I turned off the car and said, keep your seatbelts on for a min. I told them, "taking all of you into a restaurant would be tough with so many little ones, but when you guys grow up I would really love to go out for dinner and visit. So, maybe we could just hit fast forward and act like we are all grown ups going out for dinner together and then we will be fine." They said sure, they were so funny, using good manners, and talking to me so grown up like...the waitress gave me the weirdest look when she brought the meal, and my 4 year old Joey said, "mom, remember that time when I was little and we read that book?" lol

#6. Roast mini marshmallows on toothpicks over a candle and teach them some fun campfire stories. Okay, I am a wimp. Taking my kids out in the woods without a manly man to protect us from creepers or bears is just not on my list of things to do. So, we did this one night and even broke up graham crackers and little Hershey bars and made mini smores.

#5. My oldest, Missy was born blind. It has been a unique experience to help each of them realize this about her. Her eyes look fine, but her optic nerves did not develop properly. It was a great turning point to share my perspective with them that her spirit is not blind. I believe that each of us was created spiritually whole, and though we have physical infirmity in mortality, we will be blessed with perfect physical bodies by God in the end. This brings us a lot of peace and restored some equality that seemed to be missing.

#4. Use a pizza cutter to quickly cut up pancakes and waffles. ;D

#3. Don't encourage tattle telling...but teach them how to "report" in an effective and accurate manor. We report things that harm ourselves or others to a grown up quickly. "mom, I have something to report to you, " Is a phrase with implied consideration and power. They know I will quickly follow up with a request for a possible solution. Pointing out good models for this behavior helps them recognize it as a good way to manage conflict and address the situation at hand, before it becomes something that needs to be reported.

#2. In progress

#1. And I might as well share my TOP SECRET most awesome tool ever. I call it, Grocery store bliss. It is achievable. I have 5 kids and we can all go to Walmart or the grocery store, or for that matter anywhere (most recently Disneyland with just me and them driving all the way from Idaho and back without any unmanageable conflict) Their ages are 14, 12, 9, 7, and 3. I have so much confidence in this tool, that I would walk into any store any day of the week knowing they would not ask for a single thing, pick up items that other people drop, smile at people, and say hello and respectfully move out of the way of any older people. Here’s the deal;

We were on our way into the store about three years ago, and I was 9 months pregnant and we needed milk and eggs, and to be home in half an hour. I don’t mind rewarding good behavior but I knew I didn’t have patience enough for misbehavior.

I looked at them and said. “ Today is different. You can show me something you think is cool, but you cannot ask for anything extra today. If you get three compliments from people we don’t know I will stop for ice cream on the way home."

They were awesome, and you know what? People love to say nice things about awesome kids behaving well in public. I’ll admit that seeing a four year old pick up a dropped can of refried beans for a teenager with a Mohawk doesn’t happen every day in this world, but punks are pretty willing to tell me my kids are “so right on”. (and that counts as a compliment). Miracles do happen and this is an assessment tool that will help you build fond memories being out together, and make the world a better place. 

No Matter What

“The Lord has blessed women with divine attributes of love, compassion, kindness, and charity. We have the power to bless each sister as we extend our arms of love and kindness and give the gifts of compassion and charity. No matter what our individual circumstances are, we all have the opportunity to edify and nurture others”
 Silvia Aldredge. re: Relief Society Membership

I agree 100%. There are opportunities to edify and nurture others everywhere I go. To use a life transition or trial as an excuse not to continue to reach out and lift someone in need is a missed opportunity for growth. I wonder how many war heros regret reaching out to drag a fallen friend away from danger without using their own injuries as justification or excuse.


I feel that the great trials of these last days will leave us all injured in some way. There will be the extraneous weight of our own sins or the sins of others that will leave us all feeling weak, scared, and wondering what we can do to reach our desires and potential. I agree with the Lord's Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who shows us the only way to reach out to others is first to reach up...


"Though the task seems large, we are strengthened by the truth: 'The greatest force in this world today is the power of God as it works through man.' If we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to the Lord's help. That divine help, however, is predicated upon our worthiness. To sail safely the seas of mortality, to perform a human rescue mission, we need the guidance of that eternal mariner--even the great Jehovah. We look up, we reach out to obtain heavenly help." ( "The Call for Courage," Ensign, May 2004, 57)

Born of Goodly Parents...

I had often heard that we chose our parents before we came to this earth. A friend once offered additional insight that we possibly choose them also because they had qualities that we needed to develop here upon the earth. I spent a great deal of time considering this. There are so many times, in my life, where I see myself facing challenges with skills that I have learned from my parents.

One of my favorite pictures is of my parents holding me on the day I was Crissioned at the Method Church. When I look at them holding me, I know that I was blessed to have parents who were seeking God's will and willing to do what they thought he wanted them to do for me. I know that years later, as the Missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints knocked on their door, that they were again willing to learn and do God's will.

As an adult with a full household to manage, I find myself writing lists just as my Mother once did. You could usually find her in her chair curled up with a notepad and pen as she carefully calculated budgets, appointments, and meal plans. I loved it when she would get distracted on the phone and draw little flowers all over the page. She was faithful in reading the scriptures, serving in callings, and in getting us to church on Sundays. I am glad that she made these things a priority, her faithfulness influenced my own desires. She taught me to sing lullabies, and to let the sunshine in.

My Father, knew I was crazy and loved me anyways. He let me push lawnmowers, paint fences, and would let me use his scriptures on Sundays when I forgot mine. He taught me that if you worked hard, that you could make anything. Even though he was very busy, he would use busy times like driving to piano lessons, seminary or school to build a friendship with me. Once he taught me the song I needed to learn for an audition in Choir. "I know a Place" by petula clarke. I got the part, and I was so happy he was my friend. I have 5 kids of my own. They all know the song "Crabs walk sideways and Lobsters walk straight." and I hope they all will be hard workers. The skill to make time for friendship is one of great value to me.

I know that they love me, and I know that they are cheering me on. I know when I kneel down to say my prayers, that they are also praying for me, for my safety and success. What a blessing to have learned so much, from such good people.

"A loving and happy family does not happen by accident. Each person in the family must do his or her part. The Lord has given responsibilities to both parents and children. The scriptures teach that we must be thoughtful, cheerful, and considerate of others. When we speak, pray, sing, or work together, we can enjoy the blessings of harmony in our families."

(See Colossians 3.)

I would like to share...a little more

This link was one of the nicest gifts I have ever received. My friend and co-worker Victoria, helped to complete the last powerpoint I was working on for one of our courses. It was great to see how the images helped portray the simple beauty of this song. Click here to view .

Also here are some of our favorite: Family home evening cheers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aNXx7OwFsY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJDQOxCyxgA

Davis Family singin' a song ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJb1E0E-UWY&feature=related

A perfect day...to me...

Morning rain, afternoon sun, a sky full of stars....
Finding out that someone I miss was asking about me...
Mothers day is always wonderful...
Spending time with an edifying friend...
Under my feather blanket igloo with a good book...
Watching a comet travel through the constellations...
Cuddling up in a pile with my kids to watch an adventure movie...
Surprise visits from family or friends...
Helping someone remember how remarkable they really are...

*Awesome Elders

Brave enough to knock on Doors.

This is a picture of Elder David Nakken and Elder Greg Anderson, two missionaries that blessed the lives of the Strother Family and our posterity. Thats me on the left with Elder Anderson. They brought the word and will of God into our lives. I think about them each day. I am so grateful for the sacrifices they made to bring this joy into my life.

I love you in 100 Languages

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages
English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M’bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T’estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki’
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t’aime, Je t’adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S’agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu’ umi unangwa’ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i’ ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin- Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh’ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing’I Love You’)
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo (the best way )
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh- ‘Rwy’n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

My Code of Conduct (Inspired by the US Army Code of Conduct)

I am a Child of God, Mother, Friend, and Teacher, fighting with faith in these last days and supporting the forces, which guard my freedoms and our way of life. I am prepared to sacrifice my time, talents, and life in their defense. I accept the good life and mission that God has determined as best for me.

I will never surrender to temptations by my own free will. As a parent, I will never
surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to 
resist. I will educate them on their freedoms and help them to recognize the Holy Spirit and to trust God’s will. I will teach them how to analyze situations, critically consider options, and return with honor.

If I am captured by sin, I will continue to resist by all means available. I will
 make every effort to escape, and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy. I will rely on the mercies of the atonement as I strive to learn and be clean.

If I become a prisoner of the sins of this generation, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me, and will back them up in every way.

When questioned about my faith, I will answer questions to the utmost of my ability. 
I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my Family, God, Country and its allies or harmful to their cause.

I will never forget that I am of Divine Nature, fighting for freedom,
 responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my
 country free. I will trust in my Godhead, the Prophet, and in the Holy Ghost.


(Inspired by the US Army Code of Conduct)

Thoughts on consecrated life

I awake each morning as a BYU Idaho student with a choice. That choice is to rise to the opportunity of gaining an excellent education. To do this I need to start each day on my knees, humbly asking for guidance and the spirit of strength, that I may rise to this time of opportunity in my life. To do this effectively I need to be diligent. Becoming diligent involves having a strong mind, a mighty heart, and a willingness to sacrifice and consecrate your life. This guidance comes from Eldar Bednars talk on a whole offering unto the Lord by avoiding the path of the least academic resistance.

 I enjoyed the council and direction offered me by his firm yet encouraging words. I have highlighted a few of the main points in this talk below.

We must be willing to sacrifice for knowledge. Sacrifice involves giving up the things of this world because of the promises of blessings to be gained in the next. It is only God that knows weather what we sacrifice is a whole offering or a partial attempt at earning his pleasing eye upon us. Avoiding the academic path of least resistance

involves knowing yourself. President Bednar emphasizes, "that we don't need to be a Rhodes scholar, or a straight a student, or an apostle. Rather, Diligence implies an tenacious persistent about, an encouragement in, and a love for process of learning." A student can memorize wonderfully, and perform well on exams of ultimately know very little or nothing at all. The academic path of least resistance to can be characterized as students seek out the minimums and

the least required to earn the grade. College is like buying an expensive car with no engine. The car may look very good from the outside, but inside the power is missing. As students we know what this feels like. We want the satisfaction that comes from the virtue of diligence. The academic discipline and competence that academic performance can provide The techniques, skills and knowledge of our times is of extreme value.

There is no particular virtue in being uninformed, no virtue in ignorance. As students here at Byu Idaho, We have been provided with a stewardship opportunity and responsibility to develop this mighty heart and strong mind. To become both faithful competent and prepare for the day when we can offer our whole souls unto Him. We are a special remarkable generation and we live on the earth at an exciting and challenging time. We must

remember where much is given, much is required. We must prepare and use the time here to be anxiously engaged in both spiritual and school work.

When we can acquire the skills, techniques, the knowledge of these times and have not only a spiritual commitment, but also a sincere solid faith and a cleanliness of life, there is nothing that we cant achieve... nothing in righteousness or in reason. I also testify that God Lives and that Jesus Christ is the redeemer of the World. I know the fullness of the gospel has been restored to the earth by our prophet, Joseph smith. The Savior is our leader. He accepts our offering. He is impressed when we do more than just exist. I feel that as I apply the perspective and virtue of diligence that I will achieve more than just a diploma, I will achieve an education. I can then, in turn, educate and edify others.

"Strength to Overcome"

"My desire was to share this image with others searching for hope in overcoming addictions. We do not have to battle this evil serpent on our own. The Savior through His atonement has crushed the head. It is through this blessing that we and our loved ones can support, withstand, and faithfully seek the strength to overcome. I am grateful that James had both the patience and talent to work with me to beautifully portray what had blessed my mind in a time of great sorrow and trial as I watched my best friend struggle with addiction. I am a believer that hope should be shared."

"It was my pleasure to work with James to get this image out of my mind, and through his talents, onto the canvas."

Prints will be available starting in November 2009

Self-reflection and the Media

I must discover who I am, to the extent that I can recognize inherent and practiced ethic. To identify who it is that chooses.  Understanding that when I am not actively choosing that I am still making a choice.   To save myself form the hell of meaninglessness, of obsession, of complex artifice, of systematic lying of criminal evasions and neglects of self-destructive futilities of influence in the mass media.

  The tempting hell of meaninglessness has its appeals. I will have to admit that part of me wants to be lazy and allow hours slip away without thought.  The media allows me to sit and turn my thoughts over to another source to escape from my own thoughts.  Writing that hurt a little, as I am fully aware, that my use of the media is linked with my accountability. So with dedication to my personal integrity, I avoid turning on the television. So many shows I have watched in the past have portrayed life as so sarcastic and with little meaning. In the world of entertainment, family relationships are full of belittling and negatively reinforce a good laugh at any expense. So much of what I am trying to do as an exemplar to my children involves adding meaning to life. I know that I need to teach them to be critical thinkers. There is little available for me to work with for a positive example on television programming.  

  After some time logging my daily influence by the media, I saw negative effect. I might not have recognized it if not for this assignment. I was kneeling at the side of my bed. I guess some time had gone by because I realized that my thoughts had been wandering.  I found that my mind was focused on the melody of a song I had been listening to on the Radio!  Oh the despair I acknowledged as I realized that a negative media influence had interrupted my sincere prayers. Am I nothing but a sponge to influence?

  Am I contributing to a hell of obsession? During this assignment, I also found myself more aware of the medias influence on those I associated with. As I entered my friends car, her radio volume was barely dimmed to say hello. She is younger than me, but we have a great deal in common and immediately I felt the volume of the music had great control over our time together. The music was fun and without any immoral negativity, though I sat, barely able to hear my own thoughts. I was thinking about so many things I wanted to ask her. I wondered if there was an thought or conversation I could create that would justify an interruption to her music. I tried to instead silence my thoughts and see what this occasion could offer me. Could there be benefit in this choice of distraction? Thomas Merton knows best, “…it is simply a sham, It claims to be a freedom of “choice” when it has evaded the basic task of discovering who it is that chooses. It is not free because it is unwilling to face the risk of self-discovery.”  As, friends we were missing out on discovering more about ourselves and each other. We were drowning our friendship in a car overflowing with music.  I have been more aware of this as I am driving my kids around. I kept the music on, but low enough that they didn’t fell they would have to compete with the music to justify interrupting the music to share feelings and ‘face the risk of self discovery’.

  The hell of complex artifice is portrayed in Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3, Laertes warns his sister, Ophelia, to avoid falling in love with Hamlet, whose advances, he claims, are prompted by fleeting, youthful lust. He cautions her against Hamlet's "un-mastered importunity" and counsels her that "best safety lies in fear." Then her father, Polonius, begins to meddle. He knows, he tells Ophelia, that she has responded to Hamlet's attention and then informs her that she "does not understand [herself] so clearly." He asks if she believes Hamlet's affections are genuine, to which Ophelia responds, "I do not know, my lord, what I should think." Polonius answers, "I'll teach you. Think yourself a baby . . ." Ophelia accepts his desire to simplify her perspective. He reduces her to a naive child and takes away her perceived complex problems.  Since September 11^th, 2002 I have watched less and less news on the television. I watched the live footage as both planes crashed into the twin towers.  I believe I have the inclinations of Ophelia to be safe in my fear and let others influence me. I have counted on the short and biased blurbs of news on the radio to connect me to the world. I know I need to overcome this “Polonius” and take back my right to educate myself. As I seek out news from the news worthy, I know I will overcome my perspective as it applies to complex artifice.

  Mass media produces systematic lies and falsehoods. In my experience of watching the effects of media in my life, the subtle examples of lies were evident.  Determined to use the media as a positive influence, I searched out songs about love. I included the radio, CD’s that I owned, looked for newspaper articles containing love messages, and also looked for anything substantial in a few magazines. Love is positive, and love songs might also provide some of what might be missing in our home. I am a single mother of five children. My love for them is sincere and easy to express in word and deed. I often find myself concerned that my lack of companionship is damaging their perspective of true love.  While married for almost 13 years, I am sure they heard me bargain for his love and commitment.  Can the media’s influence help me?  When I landed on a song about “love” I would stop scanning through the radio stations to enjoy it.  But, within a few lines of the song, the words would prove it nothing more than a song about lust.  As my frustration quickly grew, I looked to my own CD collection for help. I remember my first thought being,” I own songs about love”.  Well, Merton would have been amused by my assumptions that I was making lucid and conscious use of my freedoms. I was not as humanly alive as I had thought.  This closer examination of my definition of  love left me discouraged, but in better understanding of  what love was not, and the type of love I was exposing my children and myself to.

  I have observed evidence of criminal evasions and neglects through the media. Hugh B. Brown quotes James Reston as he gives us a summary of the situation as it appears today in the United States and other countries: “Almost everywhere we look these days, authority is under challenge: The authority of the family, the church, the community, and the state”.  So, by evasion, I would therefore justify literal falsehood in word and deed by avoiding the unpleasant truth. The truth being: I have the authority. I choose a lifestyle with integrity. I can determinately choose my own path,  acknowledging my control over how much effect the media has in my living.

Dear Mr. Right

I am virtuous. I am genuine, pretty, and unique.  I love this world and this test and all the many sacrifices that have been made for me to be where I am in my learning and progression. I have a great life going on but after the kids are tucked in at night I wish for someone handsome to cuddle up with on the couch and plan the future with. I am a great mother because my family is important to me. I can do all the Mormon chic stuff like cook sew, play the piano, sing...but I think scrap-booking is stupid.

I faced a transition in life that left me in charge of providing a great future for me and my kids. It was a rough mountain to begin to climb, but the strength of the Lord was and is there for us. My education has blessed my life. I manage career and family with the encouragement and support of my family, neighbors and friends. I am a happy, friendly person. I am a seasoned realistic optimist.

There is no chance I would sacrifice the opportunity for the priesthood in my home for an extra portion of handsome. The gospel is important to me. I am a covenant keeper. I am not looking for perfection or to make you be perfect; But if you have enough integrity to know you need God's help to learn and grow...then I could be one to climb that mountain with you. I'll renew your excitement for what's ahead of us.

I would like to meet someone who serves the Lord. One who can accept my efforts and ambitions to be a great eternal mission companion. I would love you to teach me what you know and how you learned it. I want to hug you, adore you and rock your world. I'll kiss your forehead and melt your worries away. I'm wishing for someone who can take time to let me know that he is thinking about me...I can pretend you are...but its the little *real* things that make a girl like me keep thinking about you too. I love to be surprised... with good news and pretty flowers ;)

Internship

   Spring Semester 2009, I interned with the Department of Curriculum Development with BYU-Idaho. I feel that I developed skills and experience including the ability to: consult with faculty and supervisor on design and delivery methods for online courses; create and populate courses with resources; carry out faculty team development tasks; connect faculty teams to available resources; track progress of new courses being developed; assist with copyright clearances for various resources; copy editing, technical writing; research and design learning tools; and reporting progress regularly to my supervisors.

     The following quote brought a great deal of motivation and inspiration throughout the semester:

"I am convinced that we will find new ways to use information technology to reach more students and to deepen the learning experience of those we touch... This capacity to educate effectively across time and space will allow us to leverage the capacity of the university and reach many more young people."

     --President Kim B. Clark

     I agree with President Clark.  I have participated in meetings with both my supervisors and the BYU-Idaho faculty course administrators where the Learning model was the driving standard for development that would increase the effectiveness of education for students taking online courses.

     I also had the opportunity to help develop a new training and orientation program for new employees, which also provided reference content for current employees. The curriculum development managers gave me a great deal of guidance while maintaining confidence in my ability to learn the aspects of I-Learn and Blackboard. 

     I found my co-workers both helpful and edifying. There was a great deal of collaboration on each course; it was a great process to participate in. I felt I did an effective job at providing my best effort towards my individual contribution.

     My most significant concern about how the BYU-Idaho experience could be part of the online learning process. As I have discussed this each of my supervisors, I have realized that I am not alone in this desire and see how the courses I have helped work on fulfill the central aim of the Department and meet the standards of the Learning model. This led them to a custom project where I was assigned to develop a list of inspirational thoughts from church leaders and scriptures that we can use in our online courses. It was a blessing to feel guidance from the Holy Ghost as I completed this task.

     I have accepted a position with this department for fall semester and look forward to assisting and enabling faculty to improve in the innovation, design, and production of Learning Model curriculum in the On-line realm.

Bucket List (random order)

1. Break my fishing Record without mini marshmallows for bait

2. Visit all states in the USA (7 left)

3. Own a Piano 

4. Ride in a tractor and sing international harvester as loud as possible

5. Ride a horse without sneezing (my sad sad allergic reactions)

6. Teach my children how to garden

7. Watch the sky all night at the sand dunes 

8. Plant a Macintosh apple tree

9. Remodel an old home (in progress)

10. Break the world record for longest passionate kiss

11. Sleep on a boat on the ocean

12. Learn to ride a motor cycle

13. Take my kids snowmobiling 

14. Serve a mission

15. Own a Jeep

16. learn how to say thank you in 100 languages

17. Be on the news doing a somersault at 90 years old

18. Take a helicopter to Catalina island

19. Coach a girls basketball team

20. Dance with a professional Latin dancer

21. Do a back flip on a trampoline (without kneeing myself in the face)

22. Grow a rose garden

23. Make snow angels in Canada again

24. Improve my braille skills 

25. Make campfire memories with my kids 

26. Honeymoon

27. Achieve my desired bmi.

28. Watch old faithful 

29. Create a website to edify teenagers

30. Learn how to give a perfect back massage

31. Jump over a hurdle

32. Make my own furniture 

33. Learn to cook perogies 

34. Take my kids to Qualicum Beach and play in the ocean of my childhood

35. Make a hammock and take a nap in it

36. Write letters to fallen soldiers' families to thank them for their sacrifice

37. Get an awesome job 

38. Paint an awesome like Bob Ross picture

39. Frame some pictures of my grandparents

40. Become a grandma

41. Graduate college Yay!

42. Get a masters Degree (in progress)

43. Re-learn French

44. Learn Yoga

45. Hire someone to paint the picture in my mind

46. Go to the Sacred Grove

47. Visit my parents birthplaces

48. Write a book

49. Learn to make Chinese food

50. Get over my fear of sharks- (stupid Jaws movies).

I am an Advocate for Braille Literacy

Learning to Read and Write: Literacy Success established through Effective Advocacy.   Missy's Story.

 I took Missy into the pediatric ophthalmologist with reassurances from her pediatrician that the worst we would find out was that she might be cross-eyed and would require surgery. When Dr. Hoffman told us that her optic nerve had not developed properly I asked if she could see color, he responded that we were lucky if she saw black and white. “So she is ...blind” I said. “Yes and we will do some follow up testing to she how much functional vision she has.” He said to schedule a MRI scan on our way out. He then spoke into his recorder I heard him say something about a copy of the letter being sent to the parent infant program that could provide services. I left the doctors office feeling quite stunned.

    The many images of blindness I had learned in school, and on TV were racing through my mind. I had so many questions. The next day I contacted the parent infant program, they had not received the information from the doctor but began their assessments at my request. A Vision consultant was to visit our home once a week to help Missy learn the skills that would help her to learn Braille, they called it pre-Braille. Missy was not the only one who benefited from this relationship. It was great for me to have someone educated with Missy's diagnosis to answer my questions. Activities consisted of scooping rice in a cup and pouring it out, and many tactile experiences that helped her to get used to using her exploring objects and to reach out to the world around her. Missy loved this and she kept up to average development in both fine and large motor skills. She was introduced to Braille; many of the objects in our home and magnets on the fridge were labeled in Braille. Pre reading skills, I was instructed, are just as important to the blind child as the sighted. We purchased twin vision books and I would read to her as she felt the bumps on the page. While these activities were being introduced, Our early intervention specialist, would often ask about other aspects of our lives. I could then begin to see that all areas of our life, financial, social, familial, and social were affected by this disability.

    At the age of three services through Parent Infant Program stop and we were introduced to the School for the blind preschool. We were taken on a tour of the classrooms. They started by showing us some children that were severely disabled they were laying on mats on the floor listening to music, then we were shown some other children in wheel chairs they also had disabilities in addition to blindness. Down the hall we were shown a couple of classrooms of children who were moving around independently, they also had other disabilities in addition to blindness. There was a really sweet teacher and the classes were small in size. I asked if all these children were grouped according to academic ability. I asked how long she would go here; “Missy is just blind and has no other disabilities so she should be able to attend public school Kindergarten.”

    Although the teachers were friendly, It was very hard for us to send her to the preschool. I often subbed as there was a high turnover of teacher assistants. I expected to see more Braille available to the children, that’s when I noticed something, almost all of the other students had some vision, some could even lean in close to the page and see the picture they were coloring. Missy learned new songs days of the week and numbers. She also sat in circle time and learned to listen for the children to sit down in there chairs and head over independently to join them. I often asked about Braille. I was always told that this was pre Braille, playing in the ball pit also counted as pre Braille. I asked about pre reading and writing. “If we introduce Braille too soon, she might reject it and never touch it. I saw children who were tactile defensive, Missy was not. But these were professionals. I had a college degree but no formal training in Braille, so who was I to argue or insist?

    Before every IEP I was given a new copy of our rights though I never felt like I could effectively answer questions like, “What goals do you think we should set? How much service do you think Missy needs? I felt like I was expected to write a program for teaching the blind to read and write Braille at each meeting but the professionals were setting her goals to include things such as Missy will hop five times on one foot Missy will identify objects such as wash cloths a ball or a crayon with at least 50% accuracy by June, and be able to answer questions with the appropriate answers. When she accomplished these things there was great celebration and I was told how smart she was and how much she was learning. My gut instinct was that she was not learning to read and write and I was worried. I asked about how to strengthen her hands when I was told she was too weak to use a brailler, let her play piano, she will play for hours here on the keyboard. I felt very inadequate to label their current standard of  Educational expectation as lacking. I had the assertiveness to be ambitious and supportive, yet I lacked the ambition to become devil-master or undertaker pleading for braille skills from the School for the blind.  Instead, I decided to play assistant, with the desire to increase Braille use in the classroom. I Brailled alphabet border strips for the teacher, they were not used, I went to the library and asked for a Braille label maker and explained to the teacher that Missy enjoyed feeling the Braille on the furniture at home I asked if I could put labels on the play equipment in the class, With her reluctant permission I did my best. The other children picked the labels off and there was no interest in replacing them was told she would be taught Braille later in kindergarten, I thought she would be attending a regular class for kindergarten But I was told that the best place for Missy was a School for the blind kindergarten class at a regular elementary school. I were so disappointed, we wondered if she would ever be able to walk up the street with her friends to the neighborhood school.

    At the end of the year her teacher and I were reviewing Missy's testing they did in preschool, I was told that Missy was so cute and so happy and fun to have in class, Any questions that Missy had not done well on the teacher said she saw her do the exercise in class and so she gave her credit on the testing. I wanted to see the school she would be attending. I headed up to the school alone, I walked in to the main office and was greeted by a friendly principal. My daughter is to attend Kindergarten here, I said, “may I have a tour?” She began in the lunchroom eagerly telling of the many extra -curricular programs the children could take part in. And which Teacher does she have? I replied with the name of the Utah School For the Blind blind kindergarten teacher. She literally took a step back and folded her arms. You will have to speak to the teacher then not me, They use our classrooms, and the PTA has chosen to include them but they are in no way part of our school I was told to head to the end of the hall and she walked away. I met with the teacher and she set up a time to do a kindergarten test. When I asked about the principal the teacher added that they all had to move over to the less desirable classes across the hall at her request.

    Later that week I sat outside the classroom as Missy failed question after question, this was not the regular Kindergarten entry test other children take but it was an educational assessment of some sort. The teacher tried to sound positive. But it was obvious that Missy had not really been prepared for Kindergarten after two years at the School for the blind. I asked why it was a full day program. I was told it was full day as a courtesy to parents and children that were being bussed for up to two hours to make it worth their while. I asked when they did their reading and writing lessons, I was told that she spaced them throughout the day to make time for nap time. I did not want Missy to endure another year in an all day self-contained classroom. It seemed to me that it would just be a continuation of a Playskool/daycare setting.

    I went back and forth in my mind, what should I do? I asked the School for the blind director about Missy attending within the school district. I was told that she could go if I could find a school that would accept her. I was amazed I knew of other children in her preschool that left the school for the blind and were going to attend regular classrooms, some of them even had other learning disabilities in addition to vision problems. Why not Missy? I went up to our neighborhood school and talked to teachers. I explained that Missy was blind and that I wanted her to attend. I asked the teachers what they felt would be their biggest challenge both said that class size was a major issue. I left feeling like the director was right, they wouldn’t accept her, she would be a burden and she would never learn what she needed.

    I decided to opt out of kindergarten and teach her the skills she was lacking myself. I found Braille tutor and Missy went to her home for 30 min twice a week. The home where she was taught Braille was full of kids and pets and Missy was very distracted. She learned a little Braille but not enough. Missy also received her portion of IDEA, which allotted to a 30 min a week provided by an itinerant from the school district. Initial testing and educational assessments took forever and all determined that she was lacking so many pre-reading skills. It was also during this time that I began reaching out to private schools as an option. I heard so many reasons, from not being set up for disabled children to our school has high academic standards that are even too high for most regular children. I cried and cried.

    Then I found one private program that accepted her the teacher was excited…for all the wrong reasons. She thought it would be such a positive experience for the other children. But I still felt that this was my only hope for her education. I also found an o&m braille teacher that worked for the school district and willing to teach Braille and mobility for $40 an hour, three hours per week. I felt I had no other options. The school for the blind and the district person both attended the IEP. They explained that placement in their opinion should be in the self-contained classroom at the school for the blind. I signed them away. The school year continued, the teachers views of blindness became more apparent with comments such as, you should have her in music lessons, that’s the realistic future for her. I knew Missy was bright she was memorizing spelling words. Her thoughts and comments were so well thought out and interesting. I remember once she asked me about bubbles and if the clouds were purpley soft. She said that if she were Christopher Columbus she would sail as fast as she could to America and then go outside for recess. Missy was the top of her class in Spanish. They would say she is so smart. We were impressed- but in my mind smart included reading and writing.

    The Braille teacher was not as available as she thought and once maybe twice a week for 45 minutes was not going to be enough for her to learn to read. I enrolled in a learning to read Braille by sight course at the usb campus. A teacher there thought it might be a option for her to attend usb first grade class for only Braille and spend the rest of the day at private school. I asked the school for the blind if this was possible and she said of course. Why was this not offered at the first IEP? We set up an iep. The teacher set the goals for Missy. She will learn the first twelve letters of the Braille alphabet and numbers 1-9. Looking back I am appalled that this is all that she felt a first grader should be taught. Missy was the only one of five children that used exclusively Braille, I often came in to find her sitting at the end of the row of chairs with nothing in front of her as the other students looked at large print books or were writing letters. The closing iep said Missy often tried to wander the halls and had severe behavior problems because she would always ask for water so their iep goals were not accomplished and she knew only letters a and g. and no Braille numbers. Not even 1 and 7?

    Shortly after this I found an invitation to a convention of the National Federation of the blind. I had already missed the first day. The passion that arose in me to attend was heaven sent. I knew that if there was anyone that could tell me what to do for my daughter it was someone who had been through it first hand. Everyone was so happy to meet us. This was such a professionals looking group of individuals. They were discussing a National convention and protecting the rights of the blind. They were also talking about their priority to help blind children receive their Braille textbooks at the same time as their peers. Ron Gardner listened patiently and with great concern for my daughter said, “You're not just entitled to Braille. Your daughter has the same right as every child in this state. The right learn to read and write.” He introduced me to Marla my parent mentor. She showed me another path, it was not without bumps but it made so much sense. Before the end of the school year I walked into my neighborhood school to the principals office. I confidently announced that my daughter would be attending and asked him if he had any questions.

    Within the first month of school Missy could Braille the entire alphabet. She had an excellent Braille teacher. They worked on Braille wait- they worked on reading and writing every day. She participated well in her class, The classroom teacher found that Missy could participate in all class activities with a few adjustments. She was expected to work hard and learn so she did. Missy is still working hard. We now live in Idaho, Missy is in 7th grade. She rides the bus with her neighborhood pals and spends almost the entire day in class participating with her classmates working on the same assignments(that have been Brailled for her)and reading the same spelling tests and becoming more independent each day. She has learned to use the regular computer keyboard and likes to search (for Edward Cullen) on google with a talking screen software. She recently won the Braille reading contest state wide at the Sophomore level. 

    So many times in Missy’s life I would be in tears wishing that the help that arrived for Helen Keller's parents would arrive at my door. With the encouragement of the National Federation of the Blind, great new teachers helped dispel all of the misleadings I had in my mind about my daughters education. 


My feelings and passion that had been encouraged by Early Intervention specialists had returned. I now had the opportunity to use advocacy to establish an effective IEP, and to encourage relationship success between the Classroom and Braille teachers. To enable the world to make a little extra room for my daughter, so she could enjoy the same privilege to learn to read and write. To me there is no more worthy cause than freedom, too many parents like me are feeling like their educational desires for their children are out of reach. Please do not consider that a blind child will not miss the opportunities offered to others-just because they can’t see what’s going on. 
As a parent advocate, I not only know the importance of my child learning to read I know how to make sure it happens. I am grateful for those who support me in this cause. I extend a hand of support to any parents who may be in need of one. For more information visit:

http://www.disaboom.com/video/blind-and-visual-impairment/the-history-of-braille