I must discover who I am, to the extent that I can recognize inherent and practiced ethic. To identify who it is that chooses. Understanding that when I am not actively choosing that I am still making a choice. To save myself form the hell of meaninglessness, of obsession, of complex artifice, of systematic lying of criminal evasions and neglects of self-destructive futilities of influence in the mass media.
The tempting hell of meaninglessness has its appeals. I will have to admit that part of me wants to be lazy and allow hours slip away without thought. The media allows me to sit and turn my thoughts over to another source to escape from my own thoughts. Writing that hurt a little, as I am fully aware, that my use of the media is linked with my accountability. So with dedication to my personal integrity, I avoid turning on the television. So many shows I have watched in the past have portrayed life as so sarcastic and with little meaning. In the world of entertainment, family relationships are full of belittling and negatively reinforce a good laugh at any expense. So much of what I am trying to do as an exemplar to my children involves adding meaning to life. I know that I need to teach them to be critical thinkers. There is little available for me to work with for a positive example on television programming.
After some time logging my daily influence by the media, I saw negative effect. I might not have recognized it if not for this assignment. I was kneeling at the side of my bed. I guess some time had gone by because I realized that my thoughts had been wandering. I found that my mind was focused on the melody of a song I had been listening to on the Radio! Oh the despair I acknowledged as I realized that a negative media influence had interrupted my sincere prayers. Am I nothing but a sponge to influence?
Am I contributing to a hell of obsession? During this assignment, I also found myself more aware of the medias influence on those I associated with. As I entered my friends car, her radio volume was barely dimmed to say hello. She is younger than me, but we have a great deal in common and immediately I felt the volume of the music had great control over our time together. The music was fun and without any immoral negativity, though I sat, barely able to hear my own thoughts. I was thinking about so many things I wanted to ask her. I wondered if there was an thought or conversation I could create that would justify an interruption to her music. I tried to instead silence my thoughts and see what this occasion could offer me. Could there be benefit in this choice of distraction? Thomas Merton knows best, “…it is simply a sham, It claims to be a freedom of “choice” when it has evaded the basic task of discovering who it is that chooses. It is not free because it is unwilling to face the risk of self-discovery.” As, friends we were missing out on discovering more about ourselves and each other. We were drowning our friendship in a car overflowing with music. I have been more aware of this as I am driving my kids around. I kept the music on, but low enough that they didn’t fell they would have to compete with the music to justify interrupting the music to share feelings and ‘face the risk of self discovery’.
The hell of complex artifice is portrayed in Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3, Laertes warns his sister, Ophelia, to avoid falling in love with Hamlet, whose advances, he claims, are prompted by fleeting, youthful lust. He cautions her against Hamlet's "un-mastered importunity" and counsels her that "best safety lies in fear." Then her father, Polonius, begins to meddle. He knows, he tells Ophelia, that she has responded to Hamlet's attention and then informs her that she "does not understand [herself] so clearly." He asks if she believes Hamlet's affections are genuine, to which Ophelia responds, "I do not know, my lord, what I should think." Polonius answers, "I'll teach you. Think yourself a baby . . ." Ophelia accepts his desire to simplify her perspective. He reduces her to a naive child and takes away her perceived complex problems. Since September 11th, 2002 I have watched less and less news on the television. I watched the live footage as both planes crashed into the twin towers. I believe I have the inclinations of Ophelia to be safe in my fear and let others influence me. I have counted on the short and biased blurbs of news on the radio to connect me to the world. I know I need to overcome this “Polonius” and take back my right to educate myself. As I seek out news from the news worthy, I know I will overcome my perspective as it applies to complex artifice.
Mass media produces systematic lies and falsehoods. In my experience of watching the effects of media in my life, the subtle examples of lies were evident. Determined to use the media as a positive influence, I searched out songs about love. I included the radio, CD’s that I owned, looked for newspaper articles containing love messages, and also looked for anything substantial in a few magazines. Love is positive, and love songs might also provide some of what might be missing in our home. I am a single mother of five children. My love for them is sincere and easy to express in word and deed. I often find myself concerned that my lack of companionship is damaging their perspective of true love. While married for almost 13 years, I am sure they heard me bargain for his love and commitment. Can the media’s influence help me? When I landed on a song about “love” I would stop scanning through the radio stations to enjoy it. But, within a few lines of the song, the words would prove it nothing more than a song about lust. As my frustration quickly grew, I looked to my own CD collection for help. I remember my first thought being,” I own songs about love”. Well, Merton would have been amused by my assumptions that I was making lucid and conscious use of my freedoms. I was not as humanly alive as I had thought. This closer examination of my definition of love left me discouraged, but in better understanding of what love was not, and the type of love I was exposing my children and myself to.
I have observed evidence of criminal evasions and neglects through the media. Hugh B. Brown quotes James Reston as he gives us a summary of the situation as it appears today in the United States and other countries: “Almost everywhere we look these days, authority is under challenge: The authority of the family, the church, the community, and the state”. So, by evasion, I would therefore justify literal falsehood in word and deed by avoiding the unpleasant truth. The truth being: I have the authority. I choose a lifestyle with integrity. I can determinately choose my own path, acknowledging my control over how much effect the media has in my living.
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